Submission or Kink?

It's really hard to find one's match. Whether it's vanilla or D/s, there will always be problems, for me at least.

picturequotes.com

 It's not uncommon to encounter a man who calls himself a slave or submissive but will not submit to what I want.
It's really never about the Domme or Mistress.  Often times it's about kink or kinky sex but not about service or submission.

How can they call themselves a slave or submissive if all they want is to wear a gimp suit, eat pussy or get ass fucked?  They can't even greet or address a Domme properly. They don't have the time to drop a line, even if it's just once a week or take the time to respond to an email or message that has been waiting in their inbox for months.

How can they call themselves submissive if they call the shots all the time? They'll let you do or say something but it has to be under their terms.

And they have all kinds of excuses, from busy at work to banned connection to computer not working. If they don't want to serve me, that's fine. They can just tell me nicely. However, if they communicate with me on and off, it really sends a confusing message.

If you're not ready, then don't say you want to serve! Don't involve me in your life.

People should realize that when you want something really bad, you'll move heaven and earth to get it. If you don't want it bad enough, then you'll find all kinds of reasons and excuses not to pursue it.

My ex sub/BF and I communicate every now and then. He's in an Female Led Relationship now. Last time we had a serious conversation, I complained about meeting a man who is not seriously into the lifestyle and I feel that I'm being manipulated to yield to what this guy wants. He said something that was really beautiful. He said, "I make it easy for her (Domme/Wife) to be dominant." He explained that he does things proactively and makes sure she doesn't have to tell him twice what to do or not do. I'm happy that he has matured as a sub/husband.

Sadly for me, I don't have what she has and all I get are dregs. Ugh.

And yes, he did set the bar high. He was my first sub, I was his first Domme yet he tried his best to make me happy. Unfortunately, I wasn't ready that time.

It's probably my fault too because I have become desperate to accept anyone who comes my way. I accept short "deals" instead of real ones.

Sigh...

So guys, if you're not ready, just get a pro domme so you can get a taste of kink without the commitment and you could give in to your kinky side while you call the shots. But don't call yourself a slave or submissive if you don't know what these words mean.